My Mom's Story II

After my mom's marriage to my dad, she still continued to support the family of Kok Leung-suk, in particular, that of Say-ku and Ng-ku. Say-ku had claimed my mom as her own child as she was childless and my mom orphaned, so my mom did her duty as a filial 'daughter'. But Say-ku never really considered her as one.

"We would go marketing and she would refer me to the vendors as Ah Ying. With Ng-ku's kids, she would say 'my daughter or my son this-and-that'," said my mom. This would become a sore point with her in her later years. As a child deprived of parents twice, I can understand her need to be acknowledged. Besides, wasn't she the one making all the sacrifices?

Before Geylang, my family had stayed in Changi. My mom then leased an apartment along Sims Avenue/Geylang so Say-ku and Ng-ku and their brood could have a place to stay. It was more so they could get away from Kok Leung-suk and his detrimental ways. He was by then racking up gambling debts. Earlier, my mom had been the one helping the family pay off those debts, even once working as a tea dance hostess to make ends meet. She didn't have much of a choice then.

But for all that my mom had done, there was little gratitude from this odd-ball bunch. By the early 60s, Ng-ku had succumbed to cancer. Her dying wish was for Say-ku to take over her brood. Thus Say-ku, who was my mom's foster mother, became the mother of another set of children - children she considered more her own. Kids that I would later call my uncles and aunts.

After the death of their mother, my uncles and aunts did not address Say-ku as their new mother; they still addressed her the same. When not in her presence, they would however call her "Ah Tun". That's Cantonese for dim-witted or clumsy. Say-ku was not the brightest bulb in the room. But in life, what matters more is not how smart you are but knowing what you want. Of course, having average good looks help too!

In a sense, Say-ku was lucky. Ng-ku's children were all coming-of-age. Pretty soon, they would leave home to find work. Say-ku could continue to stay at home and be the dutiful parent. More of the same and that's what she did.

From Changi, my own family moved to Sarawak. My dad had an Engineering posting there. My eldest sister could not join us as she was schooling and so stayed behind in Geylang with Say-ku and my uncles and aunts. The younger ones were closer to her in age. Although she got along with the girls, the boys were another matter. One was in particular very mischievious. His name was Ah How. One day, he scratched the family's piano and put the blame on my sister.

Say-ku, instead of finding out who the real culprit was complained to my mom. My mom fired back and said that since my sister enjoyed playing the piano, she couldn't have been the one damaging it. Say-ku then insisted that my sister leave the house and stay somewhere else. That sent my mom into a boil. Here she was giving these people a roof over their heads and they demand that her child leave?

My mom was very close to my eldest sister and knew she was not the sort to lie. In fact, my sister had confided to her earlier that Say-ku was not feeding her well, putting her own family first. Say-ku also did not give her enough pocket money for school. My mother had to get a neighbour to help out first. This despite the fact that my mom gave Say-ku "for sake" or household money even when we where away in another country.

Back from Sarawak, my mother experienced her own unpleasant encounter with Say-ku. The money she gave her for marketing, usually twice the normal amount ($5 x 2 or $10, was already very good for meat, fish and veggies in those days) but Say-ku would spend the money unevenly buying more food for her family. She would even cook in a prejudicial way - favoring her bunch and not our family.

This and the piano incident exasperated my mom. She had no outlet and so confided in my dad. My dad was less tolerant of ingrates and suggested that my mom stop giving them aid. In fact, since Say-ku's kids were coming-of-age, he suggested the family to find their own accomodations. In short, he wanted them to leave. My dad also had his reasons. His own children were growing up. But more importantly, he also knew that some of my uncles and aunts were bullying his kids. (An incident involved an aunt taking my mom's earrings and claiming it was hers. A sister of mine saw that and went to take it back. The aunt insisted it was still hers!)

Say-ku, in a surprise move, told us to move out instead. She claimed they were staying in that Sims Avenue house first. It was then that my mom blew her top and reminded Say-ku that the apartment was in her name and that she was the one who had leased it for their use. In the end, Say-ku and her brood had little choice but to move out to then-new Toa Payoh New Town. Their application to HDB had earlier been successful.

In our Geylang home were three bedrooms, a main hall and a smaller sitting room just before the kitchen. The kitchen was open on one side and needed to be protected from the elements by a bamboo blind. Bath and toilet facilities were further back, right next to the back door before a spiral back-staircase. This spiral staircase is a common sight in the backlanes of Geylang.

When Say-ku and her brood stayed with us, my mom had given them two rooms - one for the boys (there were five) and another for the girls (two + two (adults)). Our own family of nine stayed in the one remaining room. Nine of us in that one small room!!!

To accomodate all of us, my dad had to build an alcove so we kids had space to sleep in. Each nite, half of us would sleep on top, another half would sleep below. So you see, we were not being mean to ask them to leave. We were already making sacrifices for them. But if they posed to be such difficult housemates, there was little choice in the matter.

In Geylang growing up, I had more fond memories of my uncles and aunts than bad. Since they were were older and closer to my eldest sister's age, we spent little time playing together. But they did initiate activities for us kids. The smoking incident was one. The firecracker fight was another.

I also remember accompanying my aunts out on dates as chaperons kind-of. They were blossoming into womanhood and checking out the social scene. What fun it must have been to be of that age in the '60s era of Rock and Roll!

My uncles the boys were more studious. They were a brainy lot and loved to study and play English chess. We were also smart but loved more to work with our hands to build and paint things. Of the uncle lot, I think Ah Chin was the most friendly and well-behaved. Ah How was the worst and would later be estranged from the family. Ah Hin was the youngest son and perhaps the most sociable. He was an intellectual and his inquistive eyes were piercing and questioning. As a kid, I enjoyed being with him, he would teach us things. But I also recognised that he was an adrenaline junkie with a dangerous edge. I would keep my guard up and not be blinkered. Ah Hin was certainly one very cool and steady cat. It was not a surprise then that he joined the Intelligence Service of the SAF when he came of age.

Of all my uncles, I knew Ah Ping the least. He committed suicide the year I was born. He and his girlfriend in a lover's death pact. They were still studying and both set of parents had objected to their romance. Everybody felt sad because he was the brightest among the brood of kids, a scholar in the making. A nice boy even. I would later meet Ah Ping and his girlfriend many times when my family visited Pek San Teng during Qing Ming festival. Their ashes are interned there side-by-side.

Of my two aunts, the youngest, Ah Yim, was very sweet and spoke with an attractive lilting voice. She had an almond shaped face like some classic Chinese beauty. My older aunt, Ah San, was second eldest in the family. She's more gaunt and slim like her real mom; but attractive nonetheless in that way. Her personality was a standout because she had speed-fire wit (often sarcastic). It was also suitably matched to a machine-gun mouth. It was fun listening to her talk. Strangely, she would later marry a rather dowdy chap. If she had married a CEO type, I think she would have gone very far.

Kok Leung-suk eventually passed away in the late 60s. I am not sure how his kids took the news. I know my eldest uncle, Ah Sek, hated him, so it was unlikely they reconciled. With family, it sometimes is very complicated. Kok Leung-suk died of cancer like his fourth wife Ng-Ku, but it was cancer of the large intestine. Quite fitting perhaps because he lived life large and left his shit all over the place. His first wife, Kok Yan-sum attended his wake. Unfortunately, my mom was not around and did not have the chance to meet up with her. They would have so much to talk about and catch up on.

I saw my uncles and aunties more in the subsequent years, often without fail on Chinese New Year. They were, after all, family...even if in an extended and adopted way. We would meet, catch up and then get on with our lives. For me they were one generation ahead so I had little in common with them. With their kids it was the reverse: they were one generation behind. So my relationship with them and their families was somewhere in No Man's Land. That means gatherings can be awkward. Fortunately, after a while, a game of mahjong would save the day.

But for my mom, the fact remains that my eldest uncle is an ingrate (she had supported him until Sec 4), as is my so-called grandma. I wonder why she 'adopted' my mom in the first place when she obviously did not have much love to give. Perhaps their personalities clashed. Or intelligence. Either way, if she had cared a hoot, she should have just let my mom join Kok Yan-sum all those years ago. Wanting ownership of a child is not the same as having one to love.

In Keong Siak Road retired pimps and prostitutes would buy a child to call their own. They did not want to grow old alone. Perhaps my this grandma thought the same, only that she did not expect Ng-ku to pass away so early in her life. In any case, they were sworn sisters, so having joint-custody of Ng-ku's children was a given. Say-ku didn't need to have custody of my mom.

Some of Say-ku's action were downright unfriendly. I remember one time when she was about to change the dining table in her Toa Payoh flat. My mom had told her before to keep the marble top for her. It was still in good condition and marble was something my mom liked. Say-ku instead gave the table-top away to a karung guni man, a stranger. I felt it was rather thoughtless and heartless of her. Was she that "tun"?

On another occasion, after Kok Leung-suk died, he came back in a dream ("wui mong" or returning dream, something that happens during the customary mourning period), and gave her 4-D numbers to buy. Say-ku told her friends about the numbers but did not utter a single word to my mom. When her friends won big on those four numbers (like some $10,000), did you know what they gave Say-ku in return? Only $10 as "cha" or tea money. My mom was so furious upon learning this. She admonished Say-ku: "Why didn't you tell me? If I had won, I would have given you a larger share of the winnings. You really don't have me in your heart." In Cantonese, that would have been "mo ngoh sum".

Just before my uncle Ah Chin died (early of cancer), he told his children the story of how (as a kid) he used to pay Say-ku five cents for an apple. My mom remembers the occasion and had expressed surprise at the time. She had then admonished Say-ku for buying such expensive fruits. She told her it would have been better to buy cheaper and 'share-able' fruits such as watermelon, papaya or even bananas since there were so many siblings. I was also disappointed when I heard that because when Uncle Ah Chin was young, Kok Leung-suk did not quite support the family. Uncle Ah Chin told us he would often return with just $20 or empty-handed from his father's place in Lor 40 after asking for household money.

With Kok Leung-suk's passing, I feel an era had come to an end. He lived at a time when society was still rather chaotic - a time when people largely struggled to make a living. He was certainly a colorful character with his background as an "um pai" and a penchant for many wives as well as the seduction of other people's wives. He certainly left his seed behind.

My uncle, Ah Hin, the one who joined the army, would one day experience that fallout. He bumped into his doppelganger. It was already rumoured that there was someone who looked very much like him in that same army HQ. That person also shared his surname and middle name. Turns out, they were indeed half brothers. What were the odds of that happening?

Stories of men like Kok Leung-suk reminds me of other colorful biographies of folks like Yap Ah Loy from KL, Malaysia and Er Ge Feng (aka as Zheng Yi Feng) of Bangkok, Thailand. Er Ge Feng is seen by many as the patron saint of gambling. I think all their lives make great fodder for TV drama! You know, fiction made real, just like my mom's own fascinating tale.

(It is good to know that recently my eldest uncle had shown contrition and made up with my mom. Maybe the passing of my 'grandma' had something to do with it or that he's getting on in years. It is good to make peace and move on. I also learned in late 2013 that he has been sending my mom a token sum the past months. My mom did help his family settle a $3000 debt when their father, Kok Leung-suk was released from prison (and when he failed to provide the family expense money with his philandering ways). My mom has never asked for these monies back. And they were big sums then.

Previous story: My Mom's Story I; Next story: Eating Out In The 60s/70s 
Related story 1: Crazy Aunties; Related story 2: A Firecracker Fight Related story 3: A Life in Jade

My Mom's Story I

Growing up in an area like Geylang, you are bound to meet interesting characters. During my childhood, there were gangsters, gamblers and pimps. There were bar girls too who were rather nice to this young little boy. For some reason, I brought out the maternal instincts in them. They would ask me to buy stuff for them and tip me afterwards.

Errand done, I would always wonder about their fates as I cycle away with tidbit money. What did they want in life?

A few of them looked fiesty, so I think they also had aspirations and such besides wanting to snag a good man to marry. I come from an extended and complicated family, so I could understand their desire.

That desire might not be such a good thing.

There's a guy among my relatives who's quite notorious. He had three wives and five mistresses. His 2nd or 3rd wife (from two sisters marrying the same man at the same time) was a woman I had called grandma. She was supposed to be my mother's mother. Her children were supposed to be my mother's siblings, i.e. my uncles and aunties.

The operative word here is 'supposed'.

As I mentioned earlier, this has been a rather complicated family.

My mom was born in Seremban, Malaysia. Locally, the place is called Foo Yong. As a child she was given away to lead a better life. She remembers having a brother and sister. Her new adoptive parents then brought her to Singapore to live.

Her new mom found work as a singer in a teahouse - the sort you see in period movies. For side income she mended and embroidered Chinese opera costumes. Her new dad worked for a guy named Kok Leung-suk, 'suk' being the Cantonese word for 'uncle'. More about that later.

Kok Leung-suk was a serial philanderer who found joy in seducing other men's wives. According to my mom, he started off as an "um pai" or plainclothes detective in the local police force. He worked the streets to raid operations in gambling, prostitution, gangsterism, and other vices. I am sure he was no saint, and somehow became very well-off. Enough to marry three and seduce more.

By the time my mom's new dad worked for him, Kok Leung-suk had become a businessman. He owned a lucrative "mai gao" or flour mill. One day, a group of men came looking for him. Their intention was to beat him up. My mom's dad was there at the time and stupidly (or deliberately) said he was Wu Kok Leung. That got him beaten into pulp.

Back home, my mom's new mom was fighting demons of her own. She had just discovered that her hubby had been unfaithful. He had gotten their amah's visiting sworn-sister pregnant. The amah was so ashamed she packed up the both of them and left. This amah was hired to help look after my mom because her new parents were both busy working.

Enraged, my mom's new mom had only thoughts of revenge. She went to a Thai temple and asked for some black magic water. She then went home and poured the cursed water on her husband's back. He was sitting at the dining table nursing his internal injuries at the time. He had been beaten up badly but that was after he had let his wanker willy wander.

Having done that, my mom's new mom locked herself in her room, dressed herself in vengeful red and committed suicide by swallowing raw opium. The next day, my mom's new dad woke up from his day bed and stood by the window. He was still bent from his internal injuries. For a long moment, his eyes locked on a faraway object; he seemed lost in thought. He then laid down again. My mom who saw all that said that was the last time he would ever get up. For a second time, she was orphaned again.

Kok Leung-suk felt bad. After all, it was his folly that got my mom's new dad beaten up in the first place. He had seduced the wife of a Japanese man and that was a no-no given that the Japs were in ascendancy. He lost more than a loyal friend and employee. The Japs would later confiscate his mill and that was the start of his fortunes' decline.

Out of duty, Kok Leung-suk paid for my mom parents' funerals. He then took my now orphaned mom into his family. The whole gang lived in Keong Siak Road, an area infamous for its seedy residents and a red light district. My mom was just ten years old.

But my mom had scant time to reflect on her newly dead parents or new family life. WWII had come to Singapore.

*****

After the war, Kok Leung-suk found work in a government office tasked with the issuing of vehicle licences. My mom settled into her new family helping with chores and all that expected of a young girl.

Kok Leung-suk's first wife was Tuck Mei (but most would address her as Kok Leong-sum). She was a teacher originally from Ipoh. Tired of her husband's philandering ways, she then decided to return to her hometown to lead a quiet life. She had a daughter named Lala, who became my mom's good pal.

There was Ng-ku (fifth aunt), one of a pair of double wives. She bore Kok Leung-suk five sons and two daughters. They would become my uncles and aunties that I grew up with in Geylang. Ng-ku's sworn sister was Say-ku (fourth aunt). She did not have children of her own.

How the two got married to Kok Leung-suk is like this: KL-suk was only interested in marrying the prettier Ng-ku. But Ng-ku and Say-ku were BFFs and insisted that she would only marry if her older sworn sister came along. Kok Leung-suk agreed.

Say-ku and Ng-ku were sworn sisters whose adoptive mom was called Ah Por (grand-old lady). This old lady apparently adopted five kids so she could have children look after her in old age. Apparently three of her other adopted sons worked at my grandfather's company/shipyard, Tong Lei (Mandarin tongli: 'together benefit'). That's how they got to know my dad and subsequently my mom. Ah Por and family were all from "tong shan" (Tangshan), China. My mom remembers that every festive occasion, lots of special food had to be prepared like in the old village days. It did not matter if financial circumstances it or not. Ah Por was always insistent of the old ways.

However, these special occasions were often marred by fights and quarrels when the family gathered. A couple of times, the dining room's sole light bulb would be knocked out sending glass pieces showering down on the generous food spread below. It was disappointing for my mom after slaving hours at the stove and so one time, she told Ah Por not to hold anymore celebratory feasts if the fights were to go on. My mom was then in her early teens. But despite her age, she had never been afraid to speak her mind.

However, it was through these feasts that my mom honed her cooking skills. Ah Por would ask for various tongshan foods to be cooked: yam cake, tapioca cake, "fatt go", etc. Even the cooking did not always go peacefully. There was a girl who shared kitchen duties with my mom. She would steal my mom's lighted charcoal each time. Never once would she bother to return the favour.

"She would also steal the use of my family soap. Back then, we all used this bar soap that we could cut into smaller blocks and air them on the bathroom ventilation sill. When hardened, it would last longer. But this girl, Un Nui, would take them and never replace. Because of her, we would always quarrel. And she would say some very mean things. This made living there very unpleasant," said my mom.

So, after the drama of my mom's parents' death, into this new quarrelsome family my mom went.

At the time, she had a few 'mothers' to call her own. It was not yet decided but that would soon change. One day, Kok Leong-sum's daughter came looking for my mom. -She had traveled all the way from Ipoh. She said my mother was to accompany her back to Malaysia to live with Kok Leong-sum. My mom was happy as she had found Kok Leong-sum to be kind and generous. She also believed that being a teacher, Kok Leong-sum would give her an education. Not many girls had a chance to do that at the time. My mom was smart and loved to learn so she was looking forward to joining First Wife Kok Leong-sum in Ipoh.

Having packed her few belongings into a cloth bundle, she was about to leave with Lala when Say-ku unexpectedly returned from her daily mahjong session. She asked where my mom was leaving to. She stopped them both when she learnt the reason. Or rather, she stopped my mom. "Go tell your mom since I am without child, Ah Ying (my mom's name) should be be mine," she told Lala.

With that, she chased Lala away. My mom could only stand by the doorway and watch Lala disappear down the stairs. That was the last time she saw her.

My mom would forever afterwards look back on that fateful day and wonder what could have been. At about the same time, Kok Leung-suk's fate would take a twist and my mom's life would change again, but not for the better.

In his government job, Kok Leung-suk was found guilty of taking bribes and then convicted and sentenced to 3+ years in jail. According to my mom, Kok Leung-suk did not finger anybody, he took the rap himself - why the longer jail term.

Kok Leung-suk was also into debt, some $3000. My mom would borrow a $100 to slowly repay the debt with $5 as interest each time. Slowly, the interest mounted.

To make ends meet, my mom then had to stop schooling so Ng-ku's children could continue with their education. By right, my mom was the eldest and she should have been given priority. But she was an outsider and Say-ku insisted the boys came first. She was in particular referring to Ng-ku's eldest Ah Sek. In effect, my mom had to give up her education for him. Not only that, she had to earn income to supplement what the now jailed Kok Leung-suk could not provide. And the two ladies were not the sort to do hard labour.

Fortunately for them, Kok Leung-suk earned a bit of luck. Queen Elizabeth II ascended the throne in 1953 and in so doing, an amnesty was declared all over the Commonweath. After serving a year plus in jail, he was released. That might have been good news but Kok Leung-suk was still the wine-and-dine philanderer he'd always been. He cared little about family. Thus the family situation remained uncertain. My mom remembers always having to ask Kok Leung-suk for household/marketing money or else he would conveniently forget.

One day, my mom found a suitcase containing some $10,000 under a bed. Kok Leung-suk had stashed it there for safekeeping. She told Ng-ku and Say-ku about it and suggested that they take it and start a life somewhere new.

A life without Kok Leung-suk was no different than their present circumstances. But the two women refused. Not only that, they then went out and "yum cha" as if to celebrate the fact that Kok Leung-suk was not poor. My mom was flabbergasted. How stupid could these two women be?

As years went on, and as my mom got older, she had to find work to support her adopted family. One time, at age 17, she had to work as a tea dance hostess to help clear the debts. It must have been tough on my mom as she had always been prim and proper. But my mom had also a steely resolve. Coupled with a quick wit and a good sense of humour, she could make light of any unpleasant situation. By 17, she had met a man who would take care of her. They would later have a child.

But it was meeting my dad that her life-situation changed for the better. My dad's family was well-off and owned several properties. My mom leveraged on that to give fly to her natural enterpreneurial instincts. She traded in jade and tried her hand at starting a chicken farm. Eggs were a precious commodity back then, especially the large, white ones. But a dishonest partner put an end to that.

She recalls this: "I gave my partner the seed money to start the business, but he would always come back to ask for more. I wondered how much chickens could eat in a single day! I later confronted the feed merchant about this but my partner was smart and would present himself there each time. The feed merchant couldn't say anything with him present. But one time, out of earshot, the merchant lady whispered, 'You better not carry on with this business.' To further confirm my suspicions I went and visited my partner's home. He was not in at the time but a neighbour pulled me aside and told me that the man was up to no good. 'He would burn incense and curse you bad luck once you leave,' she said. The next day, I returned on the pretext to discuss business. I purposely left an umbrella behind. True enough, once I left, he would burn incense and curse me behind my back. I asked him what he was doing. He gave no reply and became shifty. There and then I decided to end any business dealing with him. Previously, each time I visited, he would lay out a big spread of food and drink. On this occasion, he did not even offer me drink of plain water. I was so disappointed with his hypocrisy that I just wanted to drop the whole thing. I did not even want my share of the investment back. It would have been a figure of about $600-$700. Not a small sum then.

"This episode taught me that certain people cannot be trusted at all. They not only cheat you of money, they would curse you to hell as well," she said, rather ruefully.

I felt bad for my mom when she told me this story of her life. I've known her to be an easy-going lady, someone who made friends easily. She was not a calculative person and would give you her share of food if you had none. But I guess that was an important lesson for her to learn in business. We kids also understood later why she would always warn us to be extra careful of friends who asked for favours. To be able to distinguish between the genuine and the fake.

In my own dealings, I've come across folks who would borrow money from you just so they did not have to use their own funds. It was quite rampant in the 1990s when investment in shares and stocks was taking off. But seriously, a person who cheats you of money and burns incense to wish you ill is truly diabolical and evil. Have these people no conscience at all?

Previous stories: Small Figurines; Next story: My Mom's Story II
Related story 1: Crazy Aunties; Related story 2: A Firecracker Fight Related story 3: A Life in Jade

Colorised B&W photo of my mom from Colorise.sg. My mom was a fan of Doris Day's dresses.
This pic from 1956 when she was 22 (It think).